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A Bunch ‘A Pucky

Sometimes newcomers exclaim, “God?!  What does that S.O.B have to do with my compulsive eating?!”  This freak-out moment, which almost all of us have had, occurs only when the first two steps have not been completed by the upset new OA member.  And I put this out there because Step 3 is actually really simple once we have taken 1 and 2.

Once we are on Step 3 a couple things should have happened.  The first is that we have fully realized that we have an abnormal reaction to food that will never leave us and we have stopped trying to fight that reality.  The second is that we realize that fighting our compulsive food behaviors is completely nuts-o and that only something greater than ourselves (and greater than food) can bring us peace.  If these two things have occurred within the soul of a food addict, then Step 3 is a very simple task.

The OA 12&12 keeps it real for us by saying, “Note that we have said the step is simple; we have not said it is easy.” –OA 12&12 p. 19

I love that our literature keeps it real and totally on the up-and-up.  Step 3 is very simple, yet it isn’t easy.  Isn’t that the truth!  Suddenly, I am living on a spiritual basis…and no longer trying to manipulate and control things so that I get my way.  Step 3 asks something of me…something that for some reason is very difficult to do…and that is to be nice to other people, be honest, and love others.

Yes!!  It is that easy to work Step 3!  My first sponsor, Ms. Angel, said it best, “Lauren L, the way to work Step 3 is to stop acting like an a**hole.”

So, what does God have to do with my compulsive eating?

“Once we compulsive overeaters truly take the third step, we cannot fail to recover.”  OA 12&12 p.27

Thank you for my recovery!  I love all of you!!  See you at the next meeting!

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Waves of Peace

I went to a great meeting last night.  One of the women there (who just celebrated 10 years of consistent abstinence) shared about how she was meditating and realized that she doesn’t talk about God enough.  She said, “My Higher Power saw me through all this time.  You’d think I’d mention that part of my recovery a little more often.”

Her share made me think about Step 3 in the OA 12 & 12.  Part of it says, “Once we compulsive overeaters truly take the third step, we cannot fail to recover.”  OA 12 & 12 Pg 27

This quote is clever because of one single word: truly.

In my recovery, I have made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God…but, how many times have I changed my mind?

I’ve caught myself thinking, “Well, I can control this,” or “I want the outcome my way,” and especially, “That’s not fair.”  The less I am willing to give control over to my Higher Power the more calamity and stress I will endure.

Food is but a symptom of my real problem – and my problem is a spiritual malady.  If ever I am wronged (be it real or in my skewed perception) and not working my OA program I am quick to grab for that sugary item so that I might feel better.  However, if truly I work the 3rd step of OA I get to find relief by living in God’s will.

“We have what we need any time we are willing to let go of self-will and humbly ask for help.”  OA 12 & 12 Pg 27 

Spiritual peace sometimes comes in waves.  It can feel like I’m splashing around at the beach as comes roaring a frothy tide, nearly drowning from a tsunami, or sitting by a calm and still lake.  The more I actively work Step 3 (all that means is to pray, “God, please help me do your will.”) the less waves I will have to endure.  I want my serenity to be gentle and consistent.  How willing am I to stop playing God and to start living recovery?

 Thanks for reading my post!  See you at the next meeting!

At The Start Of Each Meal

“Each meal began with the Third-Step prayer. I became abstinent with God’s help.”  –A New Beginning (p. 101)

For several years now my morning has begun with the 3rd Step prayer, saying what is written on pg 63 of the AA Big Book, “God, I offer myself to Thee – to build with me and do with me as Thou wilt.  Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.  Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.  May I do Thy will always.”

It is true!  I do say it!  Well, not if I decide to sleep in.  Then I say what is paraphrased from page 59 of the AA Big Book, “God, I give you my will and my life.  Guide me in my recovery.  Show me how to live.  Amen.”

That’s 100% for real!  I say those sentences!  Well, not if I sleep in and I think something else is more important than my spiritual condition (hey – sometimes coffee is a power greater than myself).  And then I say, “Thanks!”  And off I go, scatter-brained and self-centered, ripe and ready to dominate the world (insert maniacal laugh).

My first sponsor, Ms. Angel (you can read more about her here) drilled into me the importance of morning meditation.  Whenever anyone relapsed she pulled me over to them and asked, “On the day you relapsed, did you pray that morning?”  The answer was always, “No.”

Since joining OA, I have said the 3rd Step prayer much more frequently.  I have to.  If not, I find a hamster running around my thoughts and suddenly I don’t want to say the 3rd Step prayer.  Instead, I want to say “Lauren’s Prayer”… and that prayer begins with an “F”, has a “U”, then a “C, then a “K”, and ends with the word “It”.

I try not to ever say “Lauren’s Prayer”.  That prayer will send me back into my disease.  OA recovery is literally meal by meal and I have to remember to be ever vigilant of my disease.  By the grace of God, one day at a time, I have hope of remaining abstinent.  And that goes for you, too!

Thanks for reading my blog!  See you at the next meeting!     

Which “Step 3” is for me?

Which “Step 3” is for me?

United States Medical Licensing Examination’s Step 3:  “Assess whether you can apply knowledge and understanding of biomedical and clinical science essential for the unsupervised practice of medicine.”

New Kid On The Block’s Step 3:  “It’s just you and me.”

A quote from OA’s Step 3 Explanation:  “As we continue abstaining, we find we can depend upon God to eliminate our yearning for the kind of eating that harms us.”  OA 12 & 12 pg 23

Hmmm…let me think…

OA!  DINGDINGDINGDINGDING

So, the very first time I heard this, it actually sounded like the Peanut’s school teacher talking, “Whaa, whaa whaa whaa, whaa.”  I mean, in all seriousness, I had no idea what was being discussed.  Which was odd…because due to being in another 12 step group for exactly 43,072 hours (wow – thanks really cool iPhone ‘12 Steps’ app for doing the math for me!) I was fairly knowledgeable regarding Step 3.  But hearing it about food was completely different.

Something I love about OA is that literally every person who walks through the door is different from me, yet we are exactly the same.  Everyone has a different ‘trigger’ and yet everyone is the same because we all have a ‘trigger’.  For example, at a meeting I went to recently, I sat next to a morbidly obese man and a skin-and-bones anorexic woman.  Both had been abstinent from their manifestation of compulsive eating for months.  The obese man shared about his weight loss while the anorexic shared about her weight gain – and both considered themselves and each other a miracle!

OA’s Step 3:  “Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as we understood him.”

Hmm…that doesn’t sound as scary as…

“Step by step, ohh baby, gonna get to you girl!” – NKOTB

See you at the next meeting!