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Holy Partially Hydrogenated Corn Syrup, Batman!

Few but the members of OA know the depths of insanity that our thoughts can travel, especially when it comes to justifying one little morsel of our favorite trigger foods.  Our thoughts are often something like, “Well, I’ll only have one…and one won’t hurt me…I’ve eaten only one before…and I’ve been so good, not having any for so long…it’s not a big deal…I can start over tomorrow…no one will know…I can even workout for longer at the gym to make up for it…besides, it’s normal for someone to treat themselves…today has been so great/bad that I deserve it…jeez, it does look good…(sniff, sniff)hmmm, and it smells really good…what’s the harm in having just one…little…smidge…of a corner…of one…”

Talk to an OA and they will likely tell you what they told me, saying, “I had times when I could, literally, eat just one.  However, the times that I did that were few and far between.  I always, always intended to eat a normal amount of [insert preferred white flour or sugar based food here] but, as OA helped me understand, something inside of me clicked on – like a switch – and I was done.  I ate more than I intended to eat and what followed that event was guilt and remorse.  The cycle of eating would begin and I’d find myself feeling defeat, shock, and terror.”

For many OA members, these thoughts don’t totally just up and disappear while in recovery.  Many members report that they occasionally have temping thoughts over trigger foods (the foods they abstain from eating) even after a lengthy amount of continuous abstinence and working the OA program as suggested.  We, as a fellowship, are humbled and grateful to have 9 Tools at our disposal to assist us when these obsessive food-thoughts start driving us crazy!  And what is this particular tool?  The telephone!

At the onset of my insane thinking of justifying to myself the ingesting of foods that have a history of trouble for me, I pick up the phone and call someone in my network.  Talking to another person in recovery is an almost 100% guarantee that I will not eat the food that I am considering eating.  Why is this?  Because when I reach out to someone who is also in recovery I am telling on myself.  I am saying to my support group, “Please help me.”  And help is always there.

If I call my sponsor and say, “I’m thinking about eating one of my trigger foods,” then she can talk me through that bite.  The OA program leaves it up to me in the end.  Am I going to binge or am I going to abstain?  Am I going to try and be in control or am I going to give it to God?  Am I going to eat something to have a mood altering experience from the yummy taste or am I going to look at whatever is really going on with me?  Am I going to work the OA program or is my disease going to work me?


Thank you all for my recovery!  See you at the next meeting and just keep coming back! 

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